what it means to be me

I guess in a sense this is an introduction to something much bigger than I could ever hope. I am unconventional at best. My logic confuses those who know me. My views are contradictory. But when you look at it all from a much farther outside, I do make sense. I rarely do anything without reason.

            I’m the type of person who thinks with their heart. What could that possibly mean? Of course this is not a statement that should be translated literally. I am merely a person who acts upon emotion, intuition, and hope. Don’t take me as a naïve person, however. I’m mature and knowledgeable. There are just things in this world that I feel shouldn’t be thought too much about.

            An example that I am willing to give may clear this up a tiny bit. My closest friends are constantly telling me that I often jump into various relationships with people. That I walk into situations that could hurt me. Do I really care? No, I don’t. I believer that every person I meet contributes to my individual growth in some way, regardless of how it ends. Each time I get hurt, I learn something new about myself. I learn a little more about what I want. I learn another way to deal with a certain emotion. I even learn what went wrong and how it could possibly be avoided in the future. I see no experience as a negative experience.

            Many people would stop right there and say to themselves, “What a waste of time?” Others would even avoid the situation altogether. But avoiding a life lesson that could possibly be important hinders that person’s own personal growth. Think back to your past. Find your mistakes. Now ask yourself this: Would I really take that back if I could? If you said yes, I suggest you think about that. Without these mistakes you wouldn’t have acquired knowledge, no matter how minuscule it may seem.

            I have done many things that I’m not proud of but I wouldn’t trade any experience. I come from a divorced family. I suffered abuse. I watched my father die at the age of 18. I’ve suffered depression, and everything that comes along with it. Yet here I am, clear as day, tell you that I’m glad that is all happened to me. Without the bad, there is no good, and each and every one of us is living proof of this.

[[i am, by no means, a good writer.]]