i'm my own worst enemy

my fear of commitment is once again getting the best of me. i can't stand myself. i'm with a guy and i started to realize i'm falling for him... this makes me want to bail because i'm so scared of feeling things. ugh... i'm so stupid sometimes. my brain starts trying to find stuff that's wrong with him and the relationship so i can give myself justification to run away... but in reality, i want to be with him and i don't see anything wrong with him... maybe it's the fact that it feels like we're moving too fast. seriously... we've only been together for about a month... already he has spent the night at my house a few times, met my whole family, i've met his family, etc. i got told i could sleep over there tonight if i wanted to, but i choked. i used my parents' habit of going out as good justification. i'm not ready to move so quickly... my parents said he could sleep over here tonight but i didn't want to bring it up. idfk.