ash wednesday

there's a lot in my life that i wish i could change right now. i don't know if i can stand it. i'm tired of san diego. i'll admit, it was fun for me for the first couple weeks of being back, but i'm really just done with this place. i don't wanna be here anymore. i don't care if almost all of my friends are here. i don't care if i have a boyfriend here. i don't care if i have family here. i just want to leave. it's like none of that stuff can give me enough security here to want to stay. everything just adds more drama. i want to go to nebraska, and do something. anything. i don't know what yet. i still have over a year to go.

it was ash wednesday last night. the ashes are still on my forehead. it's now lent. i gave up a lot of stuff... well... not really... i more so gave up two things. one thing just to do it. but i was contemplating giving up people for lent. like not spending any time with anyone for the whole 40 days cuz i'm just so sick of it all. i don't know... maybe i'm just tired. fuck.