never smoke grape hookah!

i'm not good about blogging everyday, mainly because i can never think of anything interesting to say. last night, being so weird, just happens to be something to blog about only because i learned a very simple lesson.

RECAP!

yesterday was pretty typical. went to class. went to best buy and picked up my final check. went to the bank. went to MCRD and bought some stuff at the exchange. on a whim, aya and i decided we wanted to smoke hookah. most things in life don't seem to be such a challenge when presented so simply, but grape shisha is enough to kill everyone. i picked grape because i was tired of all the usual things i smoke, but i found it to be a bad idea. it killed everyone i handed it too... and we all smoke like chimneys. it was pretty ugly. 

that was the main lesson of this blog.

now for less important things...

smoking shisha always clears my head to where i can think about almost anything and everything. last night was probably not the best night to smoke. i couldn't stop thinking about my dad and how worried i am about letting him down. i couldn't stop thinking about how it seriously feels like i'm missing something in my life because the one parent that i was closest to is now no longer here for me to talk to. 

once aya left my car, i could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and the worthless, vulnerable feeling that always washes over me when i cry. i held it back. as much as possible. the boyfriend ended up coming over to try to comfort me and he got me to talk about my dad and stuff... and i actually did cry a little. i didn't want to but i couldn't help it. i guess that's how it works.

we fell asleep and randomly woke up and told each other some stories about ourselves... he left this morning around 4.

yet another sidenote... my idiotic childhood best friend is texting me. evan doesn't learn. ever. he forgot his dad's birthday  -_-"  and now he's trying to apologize for lying to me because he missed me. i don't think that's how it works.

hungry.