what do i want?

what do i want out of life?
to be honest, i don't think i could answer that question right now.
i could say the typical things like
family, house, career...
but other than that, what else is there?

i want to go back home. i want to be around my relatives. i want to be able to cut people open... yes, a surgeon... or is that even what i want to do? in reality, it probably isn't. i want to find something that isn't going to sit there and tire me. but at this point, even the thought of school exhausts me. it is, once again, that time where i just need a break. yes, i've been needing a lot of these lately but at this point, i don't see why i can't have these breaks. i know i'll probably never be able to take this many breaks again... to be honest, i don't even know if i can take a break right now. i can't go back home right now... well i can... money not being the issue... but i have to think about someone else.

my significant other is living with me and i have to keep in mind that i can't leave home on a limb anymore. it was slightly easier when the only person i was accountable for was myself. now, not so much.

at times it feels like i'm taking on more than i can handle. i won't lie... i think i am. i think i'm rushing into growing up. i think i'm getting to a pount where i don't think i can do anything right anymore. but how often do i get this feeling? maybe i just miss my dad. i honestly think that's what is wrong since i broke down today.